The Girlfriend Ruse
by IsBreaLiomCSI-NY
Summary: BEAR WITH ME!Sheldon pretending to be Amy's boyfriend over Skype appeared difficult at first. How will the pair cope with performing the act in person... For several days... In Texas? All this mixed in with Sheldon's mischievous family. Rating may change


Right so this is my first story in a VERY long time... It hit me randomly and would not let go. I'm really only writing it so it'll leave me alone! :L First chapter is dull and pointless, bit of an intro just. I've never written Big Bang Theory before, I absolutely love the show and really hope that I keep the characters as they should be. Please, please, please do not hesitate to tell me that I've got it wrong.

Here goes...

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><p>Sheldon Cooper was standing in his bedroom, carefully arranging the contents of his sock drawer by colour and function.<p>

"Oh drat," he muttered as his phone began to ring. "Hello, Doctor Sheldon Cooper speaking."

"Shelly honey, do you have to answer the phone like that?" Mary Cooper asked warily.

"Mother, hello how are you?" Sheldon greeted absent-mindedly, choosing to ignore his mother's comment.

"I'm doing just fine sweety, thank the Lord. It's been a while since you called son, I thought you'd fallen off the face of the earth."

"No, no, I haven't ventured quite that far into the pacific just yet," Sheldon quipped sarcastically, "I've been quite busy lately with work at the university. _Science-y_ work," he emphasized.

"Oh well you know I don't want to be bored with the details."

"Indeed I do," Sheldon responded, shaking his head slightly.

"Anyway Shelly, there's a family wedding this month-"

"No, not going," Sheldon snapped.

"Sheldon Cooper mind your manners. I wasn't finished talking," Mary warned.

Sheldon snapped his drawer shut. "Sorry Mom, please continue."

"It's going to be a huge fundraiser for your Mee-Maw's elderly people's club. "

Sheldon sat on the edge of his bed. It was hard to say no to Mee-Maw. "What does it entail?" he sighed.

Just as Mary was about to explain Sheldon heard a commotion behind her. "MOM, I'M HOME! YOU MAKIN' DINNER YET?"

Sheldon was reminded of his absolute bewilderment as to how he shared DNA with such a gruff, uneducated being.

"I'M STARTING NOW GEORGIE. YOUR BROTHER IS ON THE PHONE," Mary yelled loudly, causing Sheldon to flinch.

"Oh is he? Lemme talk to him."

Sheldon heard scuffling as the phone changed hands.

"Hey Smelldon," George scorned.

"Hello George," Sheldon replied with indignation.

"So how's the rocket science going?"

Sheldon clenched his jaw. "I am not a rocket scientist. I am a theoretical physicist. You know this."

"Yeah whatever," George dismissed. "So I hear Baby Bro has a woman."

"If you're referring to Amy Farrah Fowler, she's n-"

George cut him off. "Yeah think that's the one. Think Mom has it wrong though. No way a robot like you could get a girl."

Sheldon began to get a sense of sibling rivalry. His eyes narrowed. "Well I am afraid it is you who is mistaken George. What my mother reports is correct," Sheldon insisted.

George was audibly surprised. "Sorry Smelldon, I'm afraid I don't believe you."

"I can prove it to you, I can have her Skype you."

"Have her _what_ me? What is she some sort of video game character?"

"No, I mean she can video call you," Sheldon explained, his voice becoming high pitched.

"Baby bro, the only way you can convince me or anyone else around here is if you actually bring this gal down. Colin and Linda's wedding would be a perfect," George was grinning at the thought.

Sheldon began to get hot under the collar. "I wasn't intending on going. We're both very busy-"

"Mee-Maw would be awfully disappointed Shelly."

Sheldon's voice squeaked. "I- Well- Yes I suppose we could-"

"Fantastic," George chirped. "Two weeks from today bro. Mom's booking flights for the pair of you as we speak. Pack light, this summer is a sizzler. Buh-bye Smelldon, can't wait to meet Amy."

George's teasing tone angered Sheldon, but no enough to cover the anxiety that was creeping up on him. His breathing quickened. Leonard doubled back as he passed Sheldon's bedroom door.

"You all right Sheldon?" he asked.

Sheldon shook his head.

"Well what happened? What's wrong?"

"My brother… He… I think I may have… I think I have to bring Amy to Texas as my girlfriend, not girl/friend."

Leonard couldn't help laughing somewhat evilly. Sheldon glared at him.

"It's not funny."

"Oh no, it's very funny," Leonard giggled. "Texas of all places."

"I have to talk to Amy," Sheldon mumbled, leaving the room.

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><p>Keeping it short just in case I've gotten it horribly wrong. Let me know if I should continue.<p> 


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